Hey guys!
First things first, sorry to my loyal fans that this took so long to get out. Real life was calling this week and I had a lot of exams that needed to come first.
Second, I love the Clothing by Owl brand and their bachelor merch. Recently they launched an affiliate program so now if you use my code, you’ll get 10% off your purchase. I’m basically a former bachelor contestant and at this rate I’ll probably have so many endorsement deals pouring in soon. Anyway, if you want to use my code or check out their website.
Unfortunately I won’t have my favorite tweets at the bottom either because it was a long time ago and I’m super lazy. Sorry everyone.
Now back to your regularly scheduled (kind of) blog post.
Last week, we watched the disaster that was the 2-on-1 date and Corinne got the rose. Honestly, almost 2 weeks later, I completely forgot Taylor even existed but here she is, right after the 2-on-1 and she is on a mission to speak her peace to literally repeat exactly what she said on the actual date. She opens by saying “I have two things to say. First, Corinne, you lied today. Second, can we talk?” Girl has a master’s degree and is kind of a huge idiot. Here’s hoping she doesn’t get a lot of endorsements. And then she tries to warn Nick against Corinne but he couldn’t care less about what she has to say and returns to his date.
Now we can finally get a rose ceremony. The cocktail party was cancelled so everyone was really nervous. Whitney was one of the people who was nervous. Girl, calm down we don’t know or care who you are.
So this week still have Rachel, Danielle M, Corinne, Kristina, Raven, Vanessa, Danielle L, Jasmine, and Whitney.
We sadly said goodbye to Josephine (its ok), Jaimi (its ok), and Alexis (it will never be ok). See you all in paradise xoxox
We finally leave New Orleans for St. Thomas aka the perfect place to fall in love. We’ll see.
The girls arrive and scream about how they love *insert location here* and talk about the rooms in their house, same old same old.
Kristina gets the 1-on-1 date though and that has got me so excited. She’s been one of my favorite since before the show even started.
While they fly around in a tiny plane, Jasmine cries about something. I think its about not getting a 1-on-1 but, like, I don’t think she realizes most people don’t get 1-on-1’s. But whatev.
Kristina talks about her life in Russia and keeps the first half of the date light, teaching Nick some of the words she knows and talking about her adoptive family. But then she talks about the darkness of being told not to eat, finally resorting to her mother’s lipstick, and then getting kicked out as a result. The full video is here. It’s heartbreaking and would probably make everyone in the whole world cry.
During the date, there is an awkward cut to Vanessa giving random facts about St. Thomas that no one really cares about when all of a sudden St. Thomas Raquel walks in to make Corinne’s life so easy! Now that Taylor is gone, I can go back to thinking Corinne is a spoiled brat who absolutely is not ready to be married to a 36 year old man child.
The group date card comes and Jasmine is still complaining about not being on the 1-on-1 and Whitney thinks Nick knows who she is so she must be getting the 1-on-1 and it’s just a lot of irrelevant barely paradise material girls talking so I don’t care.
It goes to Rachel, Raven, Vanessa, Corinne, Danielle M, and Jasmine. So Whitney gets a 2-on-1 with Danielle which is sure to be the LEAST dramatic 2-on-1 in this HISTORY of The Bachelor. Will I even watch? The answer was no.
So the 5 girls head to the beach to play volleyball and that is the entire date. They drink some alcohol, (barely) play some volleyball and cry most of the day about being on a group date and the man child only caring that Corinne isn’t having a lot of fun. At this point, every girl seems to think that she’s entitled to ALL the 1-on-1 time. Eventually, everyone goes to different spots on the beach for dramatic images of them crying. Kristina’s date was the only good part of this week because nothing involving Whitney could be exciting.
Later, Nick takes turns talking to all the girls and all of them pretty much say that they hate group dates and want only Nick all the time. Jasmine spends the whole time complaining that she doesn’t ever get time with Nick. Eventually she gets her chance and spends the whole time saying she wants to choke him because she’s mad but actually in a sexual way if he’s into that just kidding unless she’s serious. Nick is rightfully a little scared and sends her home on the group date. Also Raven got the rose.
So now we have the 2-on-1 where they head off to an island to sit awkwardly together. This date is for 2 girls that have absolutely no chance of making it to the final two so it’s super pointless. Nick talks to Whitney for the first time in 6 weeks. She says everything like it’s a question and she is the only villain this week honestly. Danielle is still doing that giggle thing after Nick says literally anything but Nick talks for 2 minutes and decides the date is over and Whitney has to go. She will live the rest of her life on this island but it looks super nice so it won’t be a bad life. Just please stay out of the Bachelor franchise.
Before it’s over, Whitney reveals herself to be a Leah and asks if he really thinks Danielle is ready for a relationship. And then she bashes Danielle in the voice over. Calm down girl, we learned your name this week.
So anyway, Nick and Danielle go eat dinner and she talks and talks and suddenly he says nah and does not give her the rose. So everyone went home on a date this week so there’s no need for a rose ceremony. Good thing too because we wouldn’t have gotten it tonight anyway.
But Nick goes to the house the girls are staying in and cries a lot and says he doesn’t know if he wants to do this anymore. Nicholas, I have hated you and loved you. Don’t you dare leave this show and make me hate you again. I have been on your side and I like it better than hating you. You literally ruin every season just calm down and pick a wife.
I mean we all know he won’t quit now because of legal reasons and I honestly wouldn’t even be that mad if he didn’t pick anyone in the finale either. But he just better never come back on a bachelor show. I need to be done with Nick Viall on this show after this season.
So we’re left with Kristina, Vanessa, Rachel, Danielle M, Raven, and Corinne.
Until next time,
xoxo
Morgan
Bachelor Chirps 